@ChrisWillx

I’ve wanted to record this episode for 10 years. Alain de Botton joins me today on Modern Wisdom 🚀

During the lowest points of my life, Alain’s voice and lessons have probably been the first place I’ve turned to get some clarity and reassurance. He genuinely sees the human condition with a level of transparency that no one else does. He’s helped me through breakups, grief, depression, jealousy, loneliness, injury, surgery and so much more. Getting to sit down with him was a dream.

Expect to learn where bad inner voices come from, why we struggle to connect with our emotions, if there is a danger of intellectualising feeling problems for smart people, Alain’s advice for obsessives who want to let go a little more, advice for an anxious person dealing with an avoidant one, why we get stuck in unhappy relationships, how to improve your self worth and much more...

I think I did justice to the completely obsessive one-sided parasocial relationship I’ve had with this man and his words over the last decade. It’s a special episode for me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. It’s live now x

Here's the timestamps:
00:00 Where Do Bad Inner Voices Come From?
08:22 Healing a Negative Inner Voice
22:31 Why Do We Struggle to Fully Connect With Our Emotions?
28:14 The Danger of Intellectualising Emotions
36:01 Letting Go as an Obsessive Person
43:06 Openness & Transparency in Relationships
52:13 Advice for People in an Anxious-Avoidant Relationship 
58:37 How Malleable Are Attachment Styles?
1:08:42 Embracing Playfulness in a Serious World
1:12:26 How Childhood Impacts Adult Relationships
1:16:02 Why People Get Stuck in Unhappy Relationships
1:22:33 Our Tendency to People-Please
1:29:59 Taking Ownership of Your Patterns
1:37:12 Are Deep Thinkers More Lonely?
1:41:05 What Drives Alain?
1:51:51 Where to Find Alain

@uareallsheep024

I'm never going to get through this podcast when I have to pause every ten minutes to write something down. Pure gold.

@quantumwafarer

Alain is the most underrated thinkers of our time. History will judge him as one of humanity’s best.

@IbrahimSulei

"Loneliness is a kind of tax you have to pay to atone for a certain complexity of mind." – Alain de Botton

@dirceuu

“ we don’t need people to be perfect, we need them to understand how they are imperfect “ 💎

@genevievewood6726

that is why humour is so important, because it is the place where happiness and unhappiness can live together, without the need to get rid of one or the other.

@erikzinna3407

I'm shocked that the views aren't in the millions or even tens of millions. Every word de Botton speaks is eloquent wisdom. He doesn't just know psychology from a black and white diagnostic perspective. You can tell he's chewed on all of this for decades to arrive at this wisdom. He speaks in such casual vernacular that people might mistake this for pop psychology, but it's the exact opposite. He absolutely knows what he's talking about. Have him back on soon.

@SammyCarlson

School of Life videos helped me get through some of my darkest days, and allowed me to articulate feelings I didn't know how to understand. I am eternally grateful to Alain de Botton for his work.

@stephaniefriske9992

Relatable. Non judgemental. So, eye opening. My mind feels like it's hearing a hug

@hansreitz3881

I'm convinced Alain is better than any antidepressant available. My anxiety dissipates when he talks.

@superbettynow

Chris's automatic assumption that your mum by default is a person who can bear you being as "small, boring or petty" as you like speaks to the fact that he was fortunate to have experienced that. For many of us, our mother was the first person we had to perform for.

@shaunmclorie5929

Alain is the greatest teacher of our time. Endlessly fascinating, interesting and enjoyable to listen to.

@braedanmackler6844

"The highest ranks of society are not reached by climbing, but by making others believe you were always standing there."

@BeckyJB888

“Happiness and love are hard to bear” I felt that.

@avinashgayam1428

I have never watched a 2 hour podcast in which I could relate to every word said in every minute. Man I feel relieved. What a beautiful podcast

@dagemtiliksew3998

Huge congrats on landing one of your Mount Rushmore guests Chris! It’s a testament to your hard work and dedication. Looking forward to this one!

@vinicius11ariel

Alain de Botton is a treasure, goddamn. Long live The School of Life! What a masterful interview also.

@teddyogoye4077

“Ask yourself? In circumstances which I grew up what did it mean to be happy? For some of us it meant upsetting a parent!!! “
Oh no ! I felt that in my heart 🥲

@Oceansoul-x10

“ In the minds of geniuses we find our own neglected thoughts “ what a line! 
I can listen to this man talk for hours. His insights are so thought provoking! Thank you for having him on your podcast! 👏💫💛

@KhangAtlas

Alain's idea of maturity can really save us from a lot of internal struggling. maturity is the ability to act more in line with values, actions and thoughts that are of our own choosing rather than the ones that have been given to us by others. It's like going to the buffet and choosing whatever food we want as opposed to being forced to eat certain foods. That choice is what maturity is. We may still have to choose from the same sorts of food (thoughts, actions, ideas, and beliefs) BUT at least we can start choosing rather than simply obeying our basic patterns. 

This idea helped me to understand the difference between maturity an immaturity. When we are children we can't help but be the creation of others but as we grow older we are able to develop the skill of self editing and learn to act for ourselves. But obviously there still exists all those so called "adults" are really still immature because they aren't choosing any thoughts, actions or behaviours. They are simply acting out the pattern that they have always known.