@himm1.2.3
And u wonder why they r going no contact. U even enable that behaviour. I can only imagine what reaction the parents had to that. "You will go to hell!" "You are worthless without faith!" And more derogatory comments, instead of having respect for another persons beliefs like a decent human being. Cos ur child is another person with their own thoughts at the end of the day, but you need to have power over what they think and believe. But u fail to realise this. And the way you even talk about this like "looking for signs of deconstruction" like something that needs to be prevented at all costs is so disgusting. I cannot stress this enough, a child does not go no contact for having different world views but because of the way they r treated. So to all of you in the comments, instead of "sending prayers" or "pray because something similar is happening to my family" try to look at yourself first.
@WendyFilice-p9i
If your adult child wants to go no contact with you. Then you should honor their wishes. Tell them you were open to work on the relationship and go to counseling whenever they are ready. Normally it is toxic parents who abused their children that makes adult children go no contact. It is just as devastating for them as it is for the parents.š
@alyssa2796
Iām so thankful that these people are waking up to the indoctrination that their family has put them through for their entire lives. I hope they go no contact.
@vanessaverner8480
You cannot force your kids to believe in your religion. Religion is a personal choice.
@BethanyWilde-le8io
I get that it's probably hard as a religious person to see your kids question what you taught them...but this is a really important and good thing for ADULTS to question their upbringing if it doesn't resonate with them. In my opinion and experience, if kids are cutting off their parents, there is a good reason. You're probably being very close minded and controlling. Let your faith make you MORE open minded and loving, not more judgmental and controlling. Once your children get older, they need to think for themselves.
@DM-zq8qy
I left āthe faithā for truth. I finally realized no superior being would TORTURE his children just because they didnāt understand or worship (or for any other reason!) And yes, the Bible is written by men. Long ago, some MEN tried to make sense of the unknown. And the MEN wrote stories to enslave the women. And NO, a benevolent god would not have drowned 99.99% of all life on earth for ANY reason. š¢ And WHICH faith is THE faith? š®
@jstube36
Maybe ask them why they don't believe. Maybe ask yourself the same thing. Maybe that child would rather live in reality instead of relying on stories of myth and legend.
@RedBalloonBlueSky
I think this woman has a long way to go to support parents of deconstructing children. People donāt go no-contact simply because they deconstruct. They go no contact if their parents are harmful to them or others. The examples are so indicative of rigid Calvinism vs all Christianity. You can deconstruct from one kind of Christianity and find another. Not respecting other peopleās lives, journeys and faith is not ok. If you persecute others, you will end up feeling persecuted.
@bucky8T2
If your child wants to leave a toxic religion, going "you'll burn on hell, you evil sinner" will push them further away. If they are calling you toxic, maybe take a step back and think about your own behaviour.
@fireemberess
As someone who graduated highschool in 2013, I had a lot of friends who were athiest/agnostic, even pagan yet "grew up in the church". I asked them all why, and the story was the same, every single time. They had questions about the faith, and nobody gave them answers. Not their parents, not church elders, not the pastors. Worse yet, they were punished and looked down on *for merely asking questions*. So they got their answers elsewhere. Deconstruction isnt new. Its not just teens and young adults being rebelious or whatever. They have questions about the faith that people in their lives dont want to answer. Alot of christians hardly understand the basics of their faith. In the past would be against homosexuality yet couldnt cite a reason beyond vaguely pointing to adam and eve. This was a common tactic back in the day. I find alot of my peers parents had a faith lacking substance. They might have known basic things like whats labeled a sin, but they never knew the why. The answer to everything was a vague "the bible says so" without delving any further. No reference to what the bible says exactly, what it means. The church is in a sorry state. Appointing leaders who tickle ears, who approve of sin... or leaders who might want to stick to Gods law but dont have the anointing to preach or teach, or are cowards to stand up against the things of the world. in my entire life as a christian in bible beleiving churches, ive only had 1 person preach against abortion once. Im almost 30 and have been going to church since i was born. My childhood best friend is lgbtq and when she came out of the closet as a teen her mother had the audacity to clutch her pearls and scream "i didnt raise you this way", yet her mother never took her to church. She had the desire to attend church but never went because her mom never took her, the few times where because of me and her walking herself to a local church.
@Minn_So_So
I am 60. After decades I read the Bible unfiltered. The god of the Old Testament is a monster. My hope is that my wife and daughter will also read the Bible unfiltered. MANY people dug in deep to understand God better and lost their faith because they followed the evidence.
@LisaSchulanerFineArt
I "deconstructed my faith" after almost 40 years of being a Christian. It was not a result of social media. It was a result of study and prayer. My pursuit of truth with God's help. I love theology and history, I studied apologetics, eschatology, early church fathers and also had some amazing experiences of God's unconditional love. And eventually I could no longer deny what the evidence was saying. The Bible has been manipulated. It cannot be "God's word" it is not inerrant. And it has been used to manipulate. Sadly Christianity today is completely different from what Jesus taught. So I had to leave. Have you ever really looked into the authenticity of the Bible? or do you just trust that God maintained, it as they tell us to do?
@heathersnyder8789
They may need to find their own reason to believe. My son deconstructed but reconstructed with a stronger belief system. All I did was unconditionally loved him and pray
@LOEKASH
If your child doesn't talk to you, it's more than likely your fault. It's really that simple.
@Emiliapocalypse
Yeah if they start thinking critically and embracing other groups and becoming a more open and compassionate person- BEWARE! Your child may have deconstructed from their faith!! š
@_.soymilk
Following a certain faith NEEDS to be an individual choice. You should not and literally donāt have the ability to force people into belief, because belief comes from yourself and you canāt just turn it on or off at will. Guilt or fear also cannot make someone believe, only make them pretend they do. If someone has real questions or doubts or opinions, why avoid or discourage that? Why not sit down and have a conversation, and seriously consider their points instead of shutting it down because you consider it blasphemous or something? If you can guide them and find valid reasoning to counter those points, their faith can grow. If you canāt, well maybe itās time for you to also reflect on your faith (which I personally think is something a lot of religious people are afraid of doing. But thereās real reasons why people leave, and why people not raised in a religious environment rarely convert)
@AnitaAlibi
But like how am I supposed to believe that Lot's daughter's "raped him" daughters don't rape fathers, how would they even know how to? How am I supposed to believe it is good for me to read these horrible lies?
@annap62407
Love you both but your wording on this makes it appear that the only people who claim their parents are toxic & go no-contact are deconstructing. In reality some of us need to go no-contact with abusive parents who really are toxic in order to actually experience a relationship with Christ. I canāt have a healthy relationship with God if I donāt set healthy boundaries with others.
@mr3745
The closer Christianity moves to conservative politics, the faster deconstruction will go.
@lv67890