@toastedbleucheese
You are the very first person I have ever seen—online or in person—who has used more than 10 hand gestures that were all different, all appropriately used, and very helpful in visualizing your points. It is also visually entertaining in keeping people interested in giving you full attention. thank you so much for being the one person I’ve always wanted to be.
@Dan-1031
“Explain in Gen Z terms” So basically hooks are like clickbait
@melanieavila5759
5 Tips to Remember (Rising Scholar, MA) 1) Essay hooks are imperative because they must obtain the attention of your college admission officers (5-6 minutes on the essay) 2) Begin your essay with a conflict (Make it original, real stakes, evoke sensory details) 3) Indirectly mention what you can bring to college - contribution to campus 4)Connect personal values to strengths that you can 'bring to the table' 5)OR begin your essay with a mystery hook- an unusual event that leaves the reader asking why?
@Naknave
Your hand gestures are a godsend for adhd viewers like me, this is the only college essay video my brain could latch to
@andrewj2k_
The advice, especially on conclusions, really helped!
@eternallyidyll
i am aiming to write a whole college essay by this friday, november 15 (early action), and am a major procrastinator. tonight, i finally managed to get myself to click on some college essay videos to start the motor in my brain to get this thing written, and this video is the second one ive watched. THANK YOU so much. i was super unsure of how to start my essay. you reminded me that i dont start with "hi, my name is blank", that i instead need a good hook. then, you gave FANTASTIC hook examples, and multiple types of hooks, which gave me multiple hits of inspiration. the hooks section helped so much. then the conclusion part was also great. the inspiration for me really hit when you started speaking out loud the example conclusion. i got an idea, i quickly wrote it down in my document, intending to come back to the video and keep listening. however, once i started writing the idea, it just kept flowing and now i have an extremely rough version of what my conclusion will probably be. its uh.. its all i have for now... but i am suddenly motivated to write after weeks of being paralyzed, unable to start the essay. THANK YOU SO MUCH FR, your video was so helpful and i would list all the ways it was great, but i have to keep this flow youve granted me!! thank you thank you!!
@forthemhobbies9793
thank you so much for this! your style of delivering message and those little animatic movements you make are so interesting, I keep my focus all the time while watching your video! and those are really great tips, I plan to alter it to my own versions when i write my essay. Please pray for me so I am able to go to my dream country!
@kiroao
My common app essay about growth and development achieved through a particular experience hasn’t been very productive to say the least. Can’t really tie down any incident from my life where my character really stood out, what to do when you have a very boring life and still wanna get into a good uni -.- Your video was really helpful, hope i’ll come up with something unique!
@writewellbrooklyn
As a writing coach myself, LOVE the funny + authentic approach here & agree with this great advice! I'll add that since aiming for a great hook/conclusion can crank up the pressure, sometimes even before the students begin, I love to encourage students START by, well, just writing badly—with no hook at all! (I use lots of tricks for this, from "mini-prompts" to a "messy messy first draft..."). Then—and this is key!—through REVISION, students can find the really great hook in their writing that will draw readers in, and create that powerhouse conclusion....✏💪 Thanks for this fantastic vid! Ashleigh (Write Well Brooklyn)
@ian-ju8fn
1) Good Hook - college admin officers dont spend more than 15 mins. per application. Start with conflict - e.g. The challenge with building an igloo is that if you don't finish the job by 4pm, your risk of hypothermia increases exponentially. Always ask how you can raise the stakes, and what are some more uncomfy situations u have been put in. Write 4 intense problems you have faced. (Character vs Character, Charac vs Self, Charac vs Environment) 2) Begin with mystery Pose a question that has to be answered - e.g. My pet turtle is the reason I flunked my AP physics exam. 3) Conclusion Negatives - cliche/ or repeated what author had stated earlier So what? And what can I contribute to campus? E.g. Serving as part of the prom committee, and organising a bake sale funraiser for prom tickets. Now alot of students might think that the "So What?" of the funraiser would be to raise funds. But what if, we presented it as a reflection of our own values? What if we wrote that "These bake sales are so important to me because I believe in human connection. While it certainly would be less effort to solicit emails or online donations, the process of showing up in person to sports events and club activities, then serving my classmates cookies and muffins that I baked myself. That feeling of being present in the moment, those little interactions, that means the world to me. In both big ways and small, I resolve to show up, be seen, and connect. That is the kind of person that I hope to be and that's what I hope to bring to a college campus." It is critical to show that you want to contribute to campus. Final notes that yr contributions to campus can be tangible and intangible. E.g. You're good at 3D printing, and you hope to print cool gadgets for ur roommates. Intangible like hanging on to your childlike wonder and curiosity.
@Sappuloll
5:30 is a perfect example for conclusion !!
@systemloading45
You don't understand how helpful you are, your advice is much appreciated!!!
@mxvortex2341
You're truly a masterclass in retaining attention. I don't know how you managed to make such unique hand gestures that still look natural and authentic.
@AshleyChing-c3o
Character vs self - Change to ideology Character vs character - conflict, idea debate Character vs environment - Social, economic, etc
@ngwuemeka1838
This advice on conclusions really helped . Been working on my conclusion for over 4 months now 😢
@bruhnish598
i love how you use hand gestures to keep viewers engaged. this was probably the most useful video I have watched to date. i will for sure be watching more videos from your channel. and btw the conclusion you said was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING
@kristenyang._.
This video is so well written and organized! Well done and thank you for the practical/constructive advice!
@evolutionarydays5237
Thank you so much for the helpful advice! I was a little uncertain about my essay's flaws, but you really helped me strengthen my conclusion and introduction. Thanks!
@sugerio9460
I would love to recieve a Common App essay review! Your videos have been extremely helpful so far!
@elevatedschool