@majaroma
I am 56 years old, and you have taught me things that no parent or author has ever taught me, like how to know I’m over-vulnerable, and how to have a self-love day. I love your enthusiasm and super appreciate the growth I am experiencing from reading your contributions.
@TSAONGAF
Mathew Hussey calls reckless vulnerability an "emotional dumping" which i thought was a nice metaphor as well
@MonicaGunderson
Yes, learning to receive other's no with grace, or their actions of "no". In those times, take a step back, and be your own best friend, your own hero, and be there for yourself. Others are out there who we can be vulnerable and safe with, and we ALWAYS have ourselves, our own company. Self-love. Self-care. Personal Healthy Boundaries for YOU. I am also discovering: • ask first, if the person has the "head space" for a vulnerable conversation. • sharing less is better. • explaining less is better. • don't repeat, repeat, repeat, they heard you the first time. • if the situation is building anxiety, it is ok to excuse yourself, and take some time for yourself.
@indigoechos6796
Too many rejections has me feeling like i should only be vulnerable with my therapist
@brambleinhabitant
15:23 "All of this resentment can build up when we are expecting other people to act in a way that keeps us okay." And when we don't fix this within us, we end up forcing our children to act in a way that wouldn't trigger us. Because of which, they will end up with CPTSD or never developing authenticity because they were never given the safe space to be themselves. And the passing down of the issues continues.
@phun1901
1. Not recovering from disappointing interactions in a reasonable timeframe. Too attached to outcomes. 2. Vulnerability leads to arguments. Too attached to outcomes. 3. Feeling lots of resentment but not anger. Expecting others to respect boundaries that we never made explicit. 4. Chronically feel out of control in relationships. Imbalances in reciprocity. 5. Vulnerability "isn't working". Attached to outcomes.
@jsmithsemper4848
I’ve DEFINITELY been overdoing vulnerability 😅
@lilyghassemzadeh
One of the most important lessons I've learned in life (very late, after 40) is that a good relationship or friendship with anyone (even your family members) is reciprocal.
@pendafen7405
It shocked me recently to learn that many covert narcissists operate from a space of vulnerability (often learned/enforced helplessness). Really shifted how I think about interactions.
@jeweltysz6887
This was very eye opening to me because I thought I wasn’t being vulnerable enough but I was being too vulnerable too early and with an attachment to the outcome of it. Plus, I never realized that being attracted to people who aren’t vulnerable was because of looking for a parent figure in my life but it makes sense to me because I found when my ex was expressing vulnerability it actually made me uncomfortable and I didn’t recognize that.
@Sysikorento
14:59 "Everyone in a relationship should put them self first." I needed to hear this.
@Analysis_Paralysis
It's also worth discerning who is safe enough to be vulnerable with! And, also, to be vulnerable gradually and step by step and not "overdoing" it by sharing too much, or by sharing things which the other party is not capable of understanding, not because they don't want to, but because they lack the context. Edit: Oh, you just mentioned it. I should have watched the video to the end! 😊 It's the most important sign in my view. :) I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and I really enjoy and appreciate your insight!
@brendanthebdog
There's no reality in which the friendzone rejection doesn't sting. It does tend to sting less if you shoot your shot in a confident straightforward manner though. Vulnerability without reciprocity is masochism.
@LadyLuck8_4
It was difficult having someone who was trying to push me into a vulnerable place and extract too much information whilst not sharing as much himself. He didn’t respect my boundaries but paid lip service to himself doing so.
@huntertony56
Please tell me you have a book in the works. I need to read your knowledge. I dont say this lightly but you saved me from a pit of darkness and confusion ! Love your work and thank you for what you do
@liasky3231
Some people know how to be assertive and can afford to be super open. And some are helpless and even not disclosing anything gets them into being ridiculed.
@nickydietrich5924
This just made me feel better. Thank you. I had a instance where through being present and vulnerable I realised I was experiencing limerence. I did all the right things, left the situation, processed my feelings privately. But I felt shame. I processed this as well because I've developed a nurturing internal voice and I know how to do toxic shame recovery. I spent time on my life and my hobbies and spent time with groups who do things which I love doing. I also went full no contact. Still I experienced recurring shame about being vulnerable in the first place. However, I wasn't inappropriately vulnerable and I did have my own back when I got rejected, so now I think because of your video that although I didn't develop a relationship with the other person, I did develop a deeper relationship with myself.
@BbyJewels
15:30-16:30 about vulnerability, boundaries and neglected anger was my most insightful part
@dariennechouinard8369
I (avoidant) had the experience of frequently feeling ashamed and confused with a long-term partner (anxious) who struggled to approach me in their vulnerability, who could not always get me to react/receive them the way they wanted or elicit vulnerability from me when i wasn't ready/able/etc. Boundaries were essential for us in making these interactions better - asking to table the moment for a later time, for more time to process, for pauses to re-regulate, etc. For me, even drawing a line for topics that I wasn't available or willing to get into has been a huge thing (re: not constantly abandoning myself).
@SeekAliveness