@leopardchicken
This attachment style affects MORE than just romantic relationships but friendships, professional, and close family and friends. I wish there was more support for non-romantic relationships.
@mordaciousfilms
This is my ex, who I legitimately LOVED, and still do, bc I really love people or I don't. And I was good to her, but she found issues - she kept me at a distance, acted like wanting one-on-one time or spending free time together was A LOT, and reacted to normal intimate discussions at times like it was me being rude. She also assumed I was TRYING to make her feel bad, when usually I was maybe just FEELING hurt? She would zone out, scroll, etc. and I'd genuinely wanna talk to her. I told her I enjoy just spending time with her. But for her, that's proably a trigger. Her other friendships were very transactional - they were not very intimate, personal, etc. Sorta pre-defined roles, or they'd ask her for favors> she saw THAT as okay, but saw my genuine love and desire for openness, closeness, and unconditional love and appreciation of her like a threat. And I'm someone who's been very neglected and ignored and lonely my whole life so far, so that sort of thing - being ignored, avoided and pushed away - it REALLY hurts me. I often do not feel loved to begin with, and it seems like nothing I do, even so purely and genuinely, matters because I just don't have a lot of people in my life to begin with, and my own mother is very emotionally distant and cold and does NOT know how to show affection.
@madalynmoth4263
I’m too damaged for relationships but I’m happy you’re helping people who still have hope. Have a beautiful day. 🕊
@bluepie-p5i
Please can you do an anxious attachment one?
@Jessica-zi1zq
🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯Thank you for this!! This feels so healing to be reconfirmed about what I have learned. Once we learn emotional intelligence... we can heal. ❤
@maggieobrien3354
I LOVE how you demonstrate these concepts with roll play in short videos. It's one thing to give someone a definition and something completely different to show them. Some people learn better through demonstration. And when people are blocked, the demonstration does a better job at making the point. Please keep these videos coming. I'll bet it's making a huge difference for many. 💛✨
@yougotgroove
I just gave my partner the most beautiful gift. I gave her a lifetime guarantee with it as well. I gave her the gift of silence
@nunyazero
The corduroy pants are the business. I wore those 25 years ago
@midlife.mystic
This is a good one. Easy to have old wounds triggered in these dynamics and turn my anger towards my parents about their avoidant attachment styles against my partner for hers.
@brendag5855
I’ve learned so much from your videos 😁🙏🙏🙏Thank you!
@evadebruijn
What a perfect example of how of the utmost importance being honest with yourself is. You can learn all about getting better at communicating but if you do not look under your own surface you will automatically say anything but the true core issue.
@DanielaRosenrot
Stop searching for deep soul-shaking love in emotionally distant and superficial people/potencial partners. This is very important for anxious and disorganized (fearful avoidant) people. You are NOT their therapist, you cannot heal them. Its not your job. Your job is to be good to yourself, find your values and healthy boundaries. 💜
@warblerbg
"I romanticize my past relationships. Even though the same patterns I have here, existed there"..... Thank you for helping me see my avoidant partner's pattern: that does not support me and continues to repeat consistently. I can't be with someone that regularly speaks about their ex / isn't healed from that trauma on top of insecure avoidant attachment tendencies that trigger my anxious attachment ❤❤ I love me. I'm leaving this relationship for me. ❤ I will not continue to engage in toxic trauma bonding due to attachment.
@hache9626
While the last point might be true i think it's important to keep in mind that your attachment style might get triggered with some people and it may not with others. E.g: if their last ex was also avoindant, or had a secure attachment, while "you" are anxious, it makes sense that they feel more trigger in their relationship with you than with their previous partners. So it is possible to make it work! It won't be easy and both you and your partner (this is key) need to be willing to put in the work to be more secure, but it's def possible! No matter if you're avoidant or anxious: you can get better, learn to love in a healthy way and find happiness. You're not broken and you're not unlovable, no matter what other people say, you just need to put in the work Take care, guys 💙
@Apersonintheworldtoday
My husband (who is this avoidant type) wouldn't even be as articulate to say these things. He doesn't even know himself enough to say these... He just "ignores" me until I'm done talking.... Sad 😢
@emmma2766
Idk if it's supposed to also be humorous but i love the delivery. Its subtle comic gold to me😄. While also being informative AF
@andreipaveloiu281
I honestly just want to learn to be better and be closer to her, but all I can manage is just looking at relationship videos and trying to filter what i see so that I can understand. I feel hollow because I try to sympathize with what she is feeling, but all I can hear is just the yelling and calling, not the hurt she has underneath. I really want some outsider perspective about Avoidants, because I feel stuck in this circle where I try to do better, I do better for some time and then something happens that triggers me and I am unable to regulate my emotions...
@queenneurotica4591
I have compassion for these people but I refuse to waste any of my time on them.
@P9q-f1w
Communication can help define the issues & best solutions!❤❤
@katherinesmithey2499