Speaking From The Wound & The Scar

Episode 048 of Living in Response is a direct result of getting real about the parts of me that are at the root of some of my undesirable patterns + loving them anyways.


Thanks for joining this raw, take-it-with-a-grain-of-salt experiment in speaking and sharing parts of myself as a way to meet some unmet childhood needs :) ＜3 (lol, but rrly)


Topics Covered in This Episode:Summarized (mostly) with AI


1️⃣ Why I Really Started This PodcastI name what’s been lurking beneath the surface: I started this podcast to be seen. Not in a performative way—but to be witnessed in the places I never was as a child. I speak openly about the deep need to be known, and how that has shaped this public processing journey.


2️⃣ The Call to Shadow WorkI share how I unexpectedly felt drawn to explore shadow work—not from a course or plan, but from within. I asked ChatGPT to help me identify my shadows. What came through was brutal, honest, and deeply validating.


3️⃣ Facing My Shadows, GentlyFrom over-identification with the seeker to the rescuer complex, secret superiority, addiction to becoming, and fear of ordinariness—I explore the parts of me I usually avoid. Not to fix them, but to finally acknowledge them without shame.


4️⃣ Realizing Inner Work Isn’t EverythingI reflect on how I’ve tried to energy-work, breathwork, and meditate my way out of pain—without looking at the deeper beliefs running the show. I admit I’ve bypassed some of the most potent truths in the name of “healing.”


5️⃣ Mindfulness as MedicineAfter a period of spinning out, I started practicing real mindfulness—like actually being present while showering or eating. And something shifted. Mindfulness gave me access to beauty and clarity I had been rushing past.


6️⃣ The Ache for “The Thing”I speak to the longing for one thing to finally work. One course, one practice, one breakthrough that fixes everything. But instead, I realize: there is no one thing. There is only this moment—and my relationship with it.


7️⃣ Unpacking My Relationship with PurposeI explore the tension between surrender and striving. How much of my purpose is wrapped up in urgency, proving, and the dream as identity? What if pausing isn’t giving up—but letting the dream root itself in me?


8️⃣ Hashimoto’s and the Energetics of UrgencyI reflect on how my autoimmune condition is mirroring my life’s emotional landscape: a body in conflict, a voice suppressed, a system exhausted from over-functioning. I begin connecting physical symptoms to spiritual and ancestral patterns.


9️⃣ Ancestral Healing & the ThroatI explore the idea that my Hashimoto’s isn’t just personal—it’s ancestral. Passed-down patterns of silence, overwork, and suppression may be showing up in my thyroid. I share a moving prayer that helped me release urgency and soften into presence.


🔟 Letting the Present Be EnoughAs Taurus season arrives, I embrace my Taurus Rising. I reflect on how my life is syncing more with the natural cycles, and how slowing down doesn’t mean losing momentum—it means finally trusting life enough to be here.


🌀 The Bottom Line: Softness Is StrengthThis episode is about naming the shadows, releasing urgency, and daring to rest. Not to quit, but to return to rhythm. To stop performing healing and start embodying it. You don’t have to prove anything. You’re already enough.


Mentions & Resourcesnot affiliated, just sharing what’s alive for me


📘 Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn – Anchoring presence in daily life💻 ChatGPT – A surprising mirror for shadow exploration🧘‍♀️ Mindfulness – The missing key in all my healing🌱 Shadow Work – Honest, raw, sometimes uncomfortable, always clarifying🩺 Hashimoto’s Disease – A physical reflection of inner conflict and inherited urgency🌿 Yin Yoga, Baths, Video Games – Rest as reclamation🎤 This Podcast – A living document of what it means to be in process


❤️ Core Message ❤️


You’re not too much. You’re not behind. You’re not broken.You’re just tender. And learning how to live without rushing.Let the future be. Let today hold you.Your presence is enough.


Grateful for all parts of this life, even the tricky bits.


Sending love and prayers to all my relations, including our beautiful, sacred, and supporting planet.


Mystically,


Belle


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